How We Can Balance Our Two Selves

At some point most everyone wonders how they made it to their present life.

How could you have possibly lived this long already? How has time gone by so fast? How did the bright dreams you had when you were young turn into a grey cloud?

I think the character Walter Mitty from the movie adaption The Secret Life of Walter Mitty must have thought this at some time. He had a bright life long boarding in his youth, and then he ended up living an obscure, boring life working for a magazine.

What happened to the bright, innocent kids we were? I have often wondered how that person, with her great hope for life, turned into the woman who feels beaten by life.

 The Cause

It is inevitable for our lives to take unexpected turns leaving us somewhere we never imagined. Something significant happens, or a small series of events unfold, that changes your life. For Walter Mitty, his dad died.

There are so many causes that make this feeling. The loss of someone, an addiction, a mental illness, a physical injury or illness. Whatever the cause, the space between your old-self and your new-self seems to span a lifetime.

Where is That Person?

There is one question that underlines the rest. Where did your old-self go? Is your bright youngness gone forever? Can you ever really retrieve your old-self? Did they die in the causal incident?

This question was answered for me the other day while reading the “How We Treat the Scars We Cannot See” by Sarah Garst on The Mighty. Garst had suffered from depression, and she had believed her old-self had left her when she had her illness.

But when she began to recover, Garst realized that who she used to be wasn’t gone, but was still inside of her, waiting for her to walk back into the light and out of her depression.

The joy she had lost to depression and anxiety was still in her, waiting to shine through.

This is beautiful.

Old-you is Still There

The young, joyful, bright version of you is still alive, still beating within you. They have never left, they have been waiting deep within you, waiting for you to invite them back into the light when you’re ready.

This is an amazing, beautiful, and hopeful answer to our depressing question. What you lost is not irretrievable. You can reclaim you.

The Layers

That being said, you still have your new-self to take into account. The scars and clouds of your experiences will not evaporate when your old-self emerges again. Your path is now etched into your history, into your memory. It is now a part of you.

While our old-selves were bright, they were ignorant to what life held in store. Our causal incidents stripped us of our ignorance.

But with our old joy, brightness, and innocence behind our new-selves, we can live in the best balance. We can be better than our old-and new-selves.

Our old-selves were ignorant to life. Our new-selves carried the weight of life. Put them together, and we live with experience and joy.

Worldview

Combining our two selves gives us an intelligent look on life. We are balanced, and not leaning drastically to either side.

Who we are now is who we were meant to be. We can have strength, brightness, experience, and joy.

We have a worldview no one else can.

Have you asked yourself these questions? Do you believe your old-self is still inside of you? Share in the comments.